Dealing with Overcoming Stonewalling
We see you. You are strong. You are resilient. You dare to fight for healthy, fulfilling relationships. But you may be up against a silent, harmful wall. In this blog post, we dive into the covert world of overcoming stonewalling, demystify its complexity, offer strategies to cope with it, and empower you with unshakeable resilience.
Stonewalling is a form of emotional abuse that haunts many relationships, making open conversations feel like navigating a minefield. It's hard to hear, harder to acknowledge, and extremely difficult to experience. "This behavior is abusive. It's emotionally abusive behavior," we admit during a heartfelt discussion in one of our most-downloaded podcast episodes. But, remember, acknowledging your partner's or friend's abusive behavior, such as constant stonewalling, doesn't necessarily make them wholly abusive. However, it demands an honest conversation and immediate attention.
Overcoming Stonewalling: Communicating Your Needs
The first step in addressing this challenge is clear, open communication about your feelings and needs. As we explore ways to cope with stonewalling, remember three essential words: boundaries, boundaries, boundaries! It's more than okay to tell someone, "This doesn't work for me" or "That behavior is not okay." No is indeed a complete sentence. It's not your responsibility to justify someone else's behavior, and you should never own their actions towards you. Assert your space, declare your needs, set firm boundaries, and radiate authentic respect for your mental and emotional wellbeing.
Building Self-Worth and Self-Confidence
"The next step," we emphasized during the podcast, "is building your own self-worth and self-confidence." Surround yourself with a supportive network of loved ones, professionals, and therapists—the people who uplift and validate your experiences. Talk to them freely, without shame or fear. Ask yourself and others, "Am I in the wrong?" Even if you hear a harsh truth or two, use it to correct your path, fine-tune your communication, and build a healthy, supportive environment. Don't vent your frustration on social media; instead, advocate for yourself assertively in real life.
Overcoming Stonewalling: Advocating for Self-Care
In the face of these challenges, don't ever sideline self-care. Engage in activities that bring you joy, nurturing your body and soul. As we emphasized, "When you fill that cup (of self-care), you're able to cope with these things in a healthier way." You truly do deserve to prioritize your mental health above everything else.
Overcoming Stonewalling: Seeking Professional Help
Don't hesitate to seek professional help, individually or as a couple. An understanding therapist can provide valuable insights and strategies to break the cycle of stonewalling. They can identify abusive behaviors and help create space for change and healing.
Supporting Others Dealing with Stonewalling
If you know of someone dealing with stonewalling in their relationships, approach them with empathy, kindness, and understanding. Remember, their struggle is real, and they could turn defensive if you paint their partner as abusive. Instead, focus on the behavior itself, not the person entirely. Encourage therapy, provide resources, and remind them, "You are not alone."
Final Thoughts on Overcoming Stonewalling
Remember, stonewalling can happen in any kind of relationship—romantic, friendship, or even at work. Recognize it, address it, and remember, you're not alone. You deserve healthy, respectful communication. You're capable of creating healthy and fulfilling relationships. Your mental well-being and emotional balance are worth fighting for. Each of you is a warrior in her own right, shattering the silence surrounding mental health and creating a culture of empathy, understanding, and well-being.
We're here for you, always. Let's continue the dialogue, and together, we'll break down these walls. In the wise words of our podcast closeout: "You are not alone on this journey. We're here cheering you on every step of the way."
