When Friendship Turns: How to deal with "Mean Girl" drama

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Welcome back to the Women's Mental Health Podcast.

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I'm Randi.

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And I'm Jess.

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And we're two licensed psychotherapists.

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And this is a safe space where we talk about mental health, well being, and strategies for coping with life's challenges.

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And how all of this is normal.

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And you are not alone.

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Not alone.

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Today we're going to talk about a topic that a lot of parents face at some point.

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We recently had this happen in our house.

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so we want to walk you through how to help your teen through the mean girl drama.

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Yes, or help yourself through mean girl drama because let's be honest, sometimes this never changes.

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No.

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And if you don't have the right boundaries and you don't know how to let go of toxic, relationships or friendships, this can happen again and again.

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I've been through it, later in life.

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And I've been through it with my teenage daughter, now adult daughter.

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We're gonna define what mean girl drama is and discuss the impacts it has on your mental health.

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for teens, their families, yourself too, like as a mother, and we're going to talk about strategies for embracing this, normalizing it, and supporting.

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your teen who is experiencing it.

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Yes, so many experience it.

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So find us and more resources on womensmentalhealthpodcast.

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com.

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let's do our have you evers.

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Have you

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ever had these thoughts?

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How can I help my teen?

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What should my teen do if they're facing mean girl drama?

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This is really hard.

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And this can also happen, side note, very young with girls.

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I think my daughter first experienced it in fourth grade.

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Fourth and fifth grade is where it really starts.

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And even though recently I run a local mom's group is that I've seen a lot of it starting even earlier first grade, second grade.

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I had a friend who moved her daughter out of a school in first grade because of a situation like that.

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And I was like, really?

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Like, how do they even know to be mean like

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that?

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Because their mamas are

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mean.

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How can I encourage

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my teen to open up

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about their feelings?

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Should I intervene?

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in the drama directly.

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How can I support my teen's self esteem?

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That's so important during this.

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And how do I teach my teen to stand up for themselves?

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And not only stand up for themselves, but feel worthy about it, but also do it kindly.

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Because we can all get mean when this stuff happens.

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we can get defensive.

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Absolutely.

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And stand up for our friends, too.

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That's the other piece.

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Oh, stand up for our friends.

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Yeah, don't follow.

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The herd, What if my teen is the one exhibiting mean girl behavior?

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I feel like sometimes

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a lot of people aren't.

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As self aware of their children sometimes, we're all crazy busy, we work crazy hours, we're overwhelmed, we're stressed, and sometimes we just don't realize what's going on right under our noses, how can you help your teen move past the drama once it's happened?

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Because, this can really leave a lot of feelings and a lot of hang ups, and it's very impressionable on them.

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Oh, yeah.

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Totally.

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I work with adults who are like, I can't form friendships because of what happened in fifth grade.

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And you're like, okay let's start working on this younger.

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How do I help my teen build healthier friendships?

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Yes.

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And

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I feel that's really important too, because the younger you start.

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The better it's going to be long term.

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And what if the mean girl drama is affecting my teen's mental health?

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I feel like a lot of times we see this in the news, like girls that are mean to each other and then all of a sudden, something bad happens, there's bullying, or there's a suicide because they didn't know that it was affecting their mental health so badly.

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Because we all think our teens will come

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talk to us.

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I wanted to talk about this because this just happened in our house recently.

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And I'm not saying that my teen wasn't, she was a little out of line herself, but then her friend group, the way they did it, it was just like, they attack, like hive

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mind.

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I feel and I even had that recently happened to me.

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I guess it's been like four years ago, where I saw a group of friends and then they all just.

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And I was like, where did this come from?

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And so calculated.

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But I also feel like too maybe it like comes out of left field, but like maybe it's been simmering and we just don't.

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I don't know, like what triggers people to all of a sudden.

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Well, and we all have seen Mean Girls.

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If you haven't, go watch Mean Girls with your kid.

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Yeah.

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It's a great show.

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My daughter and I just went and saw the play and it was so cute.

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just adolescence, being a teenager, it's so hard right now anyway.

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It's such a challenging time trying to navigate these social dynamics and how to really figure out.

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What you want to do because there's so much pressure.

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What do you want to do when you grow up?

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There's just so much going on.

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So first, let's start by defining what mean girl drama is.

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I think we all know but let's do it Anyway,

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okay, so it really refers to Social conflict so it could be peer pressure.

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It could be like why are you friends?

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with so and so.

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why are you liking this boy I So just some type of conflict is happening socially and then some type of aggression, and or manipulation is happening and this leads to, happening a lot during adolescence with teen girls because also hormones, and changes and they can't wrap around, all the things firing off in their brain.

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these behaviors are gossiping, exclusion, backstabbing.

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It's emotional bullying.

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Yes.

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And so we talk about bullying but this is what this is.

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And these are done over, discord.

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It's done over Snapchat.

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It's done over TikTok.

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Yeah.

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All of this.

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And that's the thing, when Jess went through this, my first question was, did this happen over text?

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Yes.

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And she said yes.

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Yes.

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Yes, because I was like, it's so much easier to be, you know, a keyboard warrior, a troll, or whatever, when we are not talking to somebody face to face.

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And I was telling her, when we were talking about it we need to go back to the days like when you were so mad at your BFF or whatever, and you had to write out a BFF three page note, and then you folded it up, and then you had to wait until you had class with them, and then you're like, Send it three rows over.

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And or find somebody to give it to them, and by that time you thought, maybe I should change what I said in there maybe you've calmed down.

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There's no, everything is instantaneous.

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With social media and text messages.

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So these girls and boys just fire it off and don't even think about it.

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And I'm going to share what happened with us is that one of them was being the mean girl.

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Granted, it was over a conversation that had happened three weeks before, Three weeks before.

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I feel like there's always a queen bee.

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This was the queen bitch.

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Yes.

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And if you're listening, that's how I feel right now.

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Sorry, I'll probably have to cut that out later, but I was I know I was Mad and hurt with how it was done for her because they all got together.

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One of them did a text that two of them copied and pasted the text and they sent it off at like 12, 1201, 1202.

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So that's what she woke up to on her birthday.

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And it was so calculated and so mean that it was so heartbreaking as a mom.

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I sat there going.

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How do I address this?

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What does my daughter need at this moment?

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Because it was like, the therapist in me was coming out.

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The mama bear was ready to

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woo.

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She like called me and she was like, what do I do?

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Do I call these?

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And I was like, okay, I've been through this.

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So let me tell you what has and hasn't worked for me because I'm also going to like protective mode, play the world for my kids.

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And I was like, it doesn't usually.

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you the answers or, conclude what is happening in the best way.

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Sometimes

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it so hurts your own mental health as a mom, because I was hurting for my child.

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And then you have to process that, too, and you're also grieving, I feel, for them when they're hurt and losing a relationship or a friendship because, we do live vicariously through our kids and, they're in our space.

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We feel for them.

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We carry that.

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They were a part of our bodies but it also brought up

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stuff from when I was a kid.

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And so it would be super triggering for a lot of parents, too.

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I sat there and I had to sit there and go, okay, because it was so triggering for everybody, what does she need right now?

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She needs me to listen.

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She needs me to not react angry.

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She needs me to just be there, be a sounding board, give a hug

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And figure out what this is, Let's backtrack a little though.

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Where are these girls learning this behavior?

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I feel like a lot of times we see it glamorized or trivialized in movies.

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The drama, the movies.

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Yeah, and the, it's cool to be all dramatic and have this happen, but in reality it's not.

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how are these girls, learning this so early on?

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I think they're learning it from their own parents.

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Well, yeah.

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It starts at home, exactly.

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What I had told my daughter, too, when she went through this.

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and middle school and high school was that it's usually the girls that are the most hurt.

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They always say hurt people.

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I feel that's true.

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It's the girls that are most hurt, or they're getting bullied at home, or they're getting bullied by somebody or insecure,

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or they're

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super insecure, they have no self worth.

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so they're clinging, to this that makes them feel worthy or makes them feel bigger.

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What's that other thing like you blow somebody else's Candle to make yours brighter, I think it gives them a temporary like feeling of power over this situation, because they feel out of control.

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But that doesn't excuse the behavior.

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It's just like the why of the behavior that is happening that can make you be a little bit more empathetic to the situation.

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But that doesn't mean that your child needs to be like a doormat for that.

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Exactly.

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I feel like Okay, I'm biased, but I think my daughter is amazing.

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She's smart.

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She's outgoing.

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She's beautiful.

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I mean she is Very she is

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I know her.

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She's wonderful.

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She's her

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own person.

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Yeah, and that's very intimidating.

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She doesn't give an F

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Yeah,

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I mean she doesn't care you don't like her or whatever I think what you had said in a text to me one day was you said a lot of women and girls do not like confident, independent women.

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And it's

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true.

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Yeah.

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it's so sad because I'm definitely like a girl's a girl and I love being a girl.

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being a cheerleader for my friends.

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I love seeing other people succeed.

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I feel like I've mentored a lot of people in my business too.

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I feel like there's enough for everybody.

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Like I don't gatekeep like with my own business it's really hard for me to understand that mentality, but it comes with their own insecurity, like you said, and it's jealousy.

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It is something I feel like, oh, this will be another podcast topic, I'm sure, but this comes from a learned behavior from way back when.

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I was just talking to somebody the other day that talks about how there's a book out there that talks about this behavior was taught to women back in like the Salem witch trial eras.

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Oh yeah,

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we just

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lynched

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them.

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Yeah, and if anybody's independent, right?

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And from that point, they took away property.

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We had no property rights.

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We had nothing.

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And so that's let's be honest.

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We were just, we've just been able to start voting, what, in the 70s?

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No, I think it was, that was not 70s.

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That was when we got our credit cards.

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Oh, yeah.

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And mortgages.

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73.

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We could finally buy, we could own property.

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What the

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fuck?

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That's only been like, anyways, I can't math today, but it's not been that long.

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51 years.

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Okay.

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Thank you.

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why is this so important?

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It's so important because it can be so stressful on your teen and your family and emotionally draining.

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when you as a mother to feel helpless.

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Oh, I'm so anxious

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about it.

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Guilty.

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Like maybe you didn't prepare them enough.

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There's all things and it can like, Turn into a snowball of other things like eating disorders, like their own, low self esteem or self worth, like social isolation and as girls and women, we tend to internalize our feelings.

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So that's why a lot of times teen girls don't come.

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And talk to us about it, or they carry some guilt because we're women.

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It's what we're, taught to do historically.

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Just keep quiet and stuff it down.

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Or there's something maybe that, again, I think my daughter wasn't exactly innocent in all this either.

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she didn't deserve what happened and so it was a matter of, I had to sit there and I didn't have to, I chose to.

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What is going on?

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Let's get the whole thing and let's do this.

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And I, Wanted to teach her how to handle this.

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Yeah, if it happened again, if it happens again And so I didn't want any kind of depression or anxiety or any kind of the self esteem Being tamped down because of this and so one of the things I did say though was I said I know that this feels very real right now, because it is.

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It is very real, it is very important to you right now.

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For in the moment, that's their whole world that feels like it's shattering.

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So what I did was I validated for her that I know this is important right now, and we'll get into this in a little bit, but I said, I want you to know in five years, this isn't going to be.

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It's not going to matter.

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It's going to be a blip.

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I said, so please, I said, don't make any poor choices.

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And let's just back off stuff.

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I said, but right now I know this is big.

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Yeah.

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So with, the right support, like you, you gave, it can really be a valuable lesson for our kids and resiliency and empathy

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and

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understanding their own self worth.

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And also

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owning your shit, honestly, I'm not saying that whatever caused this turmoil to start.

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Yeah,

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like when my daughter went through it, I said, I want to see all the text messages.

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And I said, I know that you are like me and you're, very secure in who you are.

00:13:50.793 --> 00:13:57.812
But I want to see how you clap back, like what you said, because I know that you're not innocent in all of this either.

00:13:57.932 --> 00:14:00.163
I'll be the first to say were you an asshole?

00:14:00.466 --> 00:14:01.956
because I'm very self aware.

00:14:01.956 --> 00:14:11.384
So like when I went through it with some of my, other friends, I asked other people outside of our circle, looking at this from the outside, did I do something wrong?

00:14:11.485 --> 00:14:12.815
Did I say something wrong?

00:14:13.105 --> 00:14:15.304
Could I have done something else?

00:14:15.345 --> 00:14:17.634
I wanted to see the whole picture.

00:14:18.095 --> 00:14:19.845
And so I think that's good with our kids too.

00:14:19.845 --> 00:14:27.134
And my daughter was like, okay, I did message her on Instagram and it was these three things and she showed them to me.

00:14:27.335 --> 00:14:29.355
So I said, okay, so now I have the whole picture.

00:14:29.375 --> 00:14:35.154
Cause I said, if I'm going to go to bat for you, if I'm going to say she's in the wrong and you're in the right.

00:14:35.315 --> 00:14:36.304
I need to know.

00:14:36.304 --> 00:14:39.835
I said, you're not gonna make me go to bat for you and make me look like an idiot.

00:14:40.205 --> 00:14:41.955
I said, I need all the information.

00:14:41.955 --> 00:14:44.538
I said, I'm not gonna be mad, you need to be accountable.

00:14:44.652 --> 00:14:45.442
Exactly.

00:14:45.601 --> 00:14:51.741
it was, let me see what this is because I want to teach you how to handle it, but I need to know what, what happened.

00:14:51.741 --> 00:14:54.121
And it wasn't in a judgmental way.

00:14:54.131 --> 00:14:55.772
It wasn't, I'm not going to shame you.

00:14:56.162 --> 00:14:56.861
None of that.

00:14:56.861 --> 00:14:58.322
Cause I wanted to be supportive.

00:14:58.761 --> 00:14:59.822
And it was one of those things.

00:14:59.822 --> 00:15:00.211
It was a big deal.

00:15:00.322 --> 00:15:01.152
big deal.

00:15:01.402 --> 00:15:09.032
And so that is one of the first strategies for showing support and getting through this is open communication.

00:15:09.042 --> 00:15:19.772
So encouraging them to talk about their feelings without fear of judgment, listening actively and listening empathetically.

00:15:19.812 --> 00:15:21.351
And it means sitting there going.

00:15:21.467 --> 00:15:28.817
Let me gather all the stuff before you jump before my I had to my mama bear had to help hold back Yeah, cuz you're gonna be

00:15:28.817 --> 00:15:45.363
like I'm gonna take that fifth grader to the ground like Sometimes we feel that way when our kids are getting bullied or teased and I have a special needs son, too And so cute so adorable, but I'm like, oh I will go, but I'm like, I wouldn't really do that.

00:15:45.423 --> 00:15:49.293
You're gonna have to rein it in too and be like, okay, like breathe.

00:15:49.773 --> 00:15:52.173
And then what's the next step that we need to do?

00:15:52.173 --> 00:15:54.592
We need to validate their feelings.

00:15:54.643 --> 00:15:58.352
Validate how important it is to them and validate.

00:15:58.352 --> 00:16:02.613
And even with my husband, I talked to him about it and I said, please don't minimize what's happening.

00:16:03.327 --> 00:16:04.898
Please make sure you validate it.

00:16:04.898 --> 00:16:05.187
Don't

00:16:05.187 --> 00:16:05.748
minimize.

00:16:05.758 --> 00:16:07.638
This is a big deal.

00:16:08.207 --> 00:16:10.727
And we talk about validating emotions.

00:16:10.768 --> 00:16:14.668
If you want to listen in to that podcast on season one, it's episode 25.

00:16:14.778 --> 00:16:20.138
Just validate it and help them understand that this is important to you as

00:16:20.138 --> 00:16:20.427
well.

00:16:20.437 --> 00:16:25.717
And it's okay to feel all the feels and that you are going to go through a grief process.

00:16:25.738 --> 00:16:26.648
You're going to be angry.

00:16:26.648 --> 00:16:27.717
You're going to be sad.

00:16:27.727 --> 00:16:28.807
You're going to be mad.

00:16:28.807 --> 00:16:29.268
You're going to.

00:16:29.543 --> 00:16:33.932
Want to lash out and then, it's going to go again until you find closure with it.

00:16:34.437 --> 00:16:37.118
And don't call their friends names unless she says you can't.

00:16:38.388 --> 00:16:39.307
Just so you know.

00:16:39.538 --> 00:16:41.261
Because, you can't get in on it.

00:16:41.292 --> 00:16:43.312
And I have a lot of mamas that want to jump in.

00:16:43.491 --> 00:16:44.511
Earlier I was like, oh, that bitch.

00:16:45.091 --> 00:16:45.402
But.

00:16:45.672 --> 00:16:48.131
Well, but Jess, she called me first.

00:16:48.131 --> 00:16:51.927
She texted me first and said, I want to dive deep into this.

00:16:51.947 --> 00:16:53.586
Do I contact the parents?

00:16:53.586 --> 00:16:54.136
Do I do this?

00:16:54.136 --> 00:16:55.876
And I was like, and that's the first thing.

00:16:55.897 --> 00:17:05.636
Find somebody too that can support you through it while you're trying to guide, whether that's a therapist or a friend or, whoever, and that might have experience with this.

00:17:05.646 --> 00:17:09.616
So you can be like, okay, this is my plan of how I'm going to approach this.

00:17:09.656 --> 00:17:13.076
Because I was like my first thing was I'm going I'm going right to the source.

00:17:13.076 --> 00:17:13.457
Yeah.

00:17:13.676 --> 00:17:18.207
I know that mama's phone number, I'm going to the source but I don't want to do that to her.

00:17:18.247 --> 00:17:20.616
And so I did say, you don't want to undermine

00:17:20.876 --> 00:17:21.527
your kids

00:17:21.557 --> 00:17:22.326
either, right?

00:17:22.326 --> 00:17:24.227
And so I was like, can I reach out to this one mom?

00:17:24.606 --> 00:17:24.866
Yeah.

00:17:24.866 --> 00:17:30.646
When it happened with my daughter, it was one of her very close friends that used to go on all of our, family vacations with us.

00:17:30.646 --> 00:17:30.797
What?

00:17:30.797 --> 00:17:31.086
Oh, yeah.

00:17:31.451 --> 00:17:41.912
Spend like weeks at her house, like during the time, over the summer, like they had been friends for four years and so like I knew her mom very well, but like I also knew that her mom wasn't very present.

00:17:41.922 --> 00:17:46.115
She was like the last kid out of, a lot, like she had a lot of trauma, her friend.

00:17:46.115 --> 00:17:48.035
And so I was very understanding of that.

00:17:48.035 --> 00:17:51.015
But like when I reached out to the mom, she was like, Oh no, not mine.

00:17:51.295 --> 00:18:03.684
And I was like, okay, like I'm wasting my breath because I would say sorry, if it was my kid and I'm going to find out all the information, I'm always like, okay, let me see everything.

00:18:03.684 --> 00:18:07.855
Like I said, like the whole picture before I'm like, would even defend my kid too.

00:18:08.275 --> 00:18:11.785
Another important thing is teaching, coping strategies.

00:18:11.825 --> 00:18:13.075
We need these all the time.

00:18:13.075 --> 00:18:13.644
Yes.

00:18:13.704 --> 00:18:15.234
Our teens need them all the time.

00:18:15.244 --> 00:18:16.625
Our little kids need them all the time.

00:18:16.625 --> 00:18:20.255
We all need coping strategies because life is fucking hard.

00:18:20.464 --> 00:18:20.894
It is.

00:18:20.914 --> 00:18:22.365
It's, Being mindful.

00:18:22.634 --> 00:18:25.855
It is exercising some sort of a creative outlet.

00:18:26.154 --> 00:18:29.605
And Whatever it is that your teen is into, find new things.

00:18:29.605 --> 00:18:31.795
If you don't know, try different stuff out.

00:18:32.065 --> 00:18:39.605
Because it's a healthy way without therapeutizing it as we call it, or like making your kid feel like you need to go to therapy right now.

00:18:39.605 --> 00:18:47.335
Cause I know a lot of people throw that around as a negative thing, but it's not, let's change the conversation about that too.

00:18:47.595 --> 00:18:48.015
But.

00:18:48.650 --> 00:18:54.500
teaching them skills so they have them to fall back on when they are in these stressful situations.

00:18:54.559 --> 00:18:55.240
Exactly.

00:18:55.240 --> 00:19:00.940
And even if it's like taking sock balls, okay, so I ball my socks up, taking sock balls and throwing them at a wall.

00:19:01.000 --> 00:19:01.059
Yeah.

00:19:01.329 --> 00:19:01.900
I love.

00:19:01.900 --> 00:19:03.799
We did a rage room before and stuff.

00:19:03.799 --> 00:19:05.230
And it was like so much fun.

00:19:05.230 --> 00:19:08.869
Like those things okay, let's find a healthy outlet for this.

00:19:08.880 --> 00:19:10.490
And then we can sit down and talk about it.

00:19:11.150 --> 00:19:12.430
In our fields right now.

00:19:12.440 --> 00:19:12.750
Exactly.

00:19:13.299 --> 00:19:14.119
The other though is

00:19:14.119 --> 00:19:16.500
encourage positive friendships.

00:19:16.900 --> 00:19:21.789
And I always talk about being kind, gearing them towards healthy

00:19:21.839 --> 00:19:22.509
people,

00:19:22.970 --> 00:19:23.819
modeling

00:19:23.819 --> 00:19:24.130
that.

00:19:24.140 --> 00:19:35.619
Yeah, modeling it and also surrounding yourself with people that you want to be like, or that, positive things, like going towards that, like that light.

00:19:35.619 --> 00:19:46.660
And I was just telling Jess too, that with her daughter like they're going to be starting a new school year, and these are all friends from her school, and it's a little bit scary to go back and not know am I going to have friends?

00:19:46.680 --> 00:19:55.920
And I said to think of it differently, that this has closed one door and maybe opened another one, where she's going to meet the friend of a lifetime.

00:19:56.075 --> 00:19:56.714
Exactly.

00:19:56.714 --> 00:20:10.644
And so one of the things I did in this situation is I reached out to see if there's any incoming kids and we're going to go have coffee and we're going to set up something to make sure that she feels secure because I want her to go into this new year, rocking it.

00:20:10.654 --> 00:20:11.244
She's amazing.

00:20:11.275 --> 00:20:13.555
I want her just to own it and just rock it.

00:20:13.575 --> 00:20:15.474
And it's okay that

00:20:15.474 --> 00:20:16.105
this happened.

00:20:16.444 --> 00:20:33.377
And even as an adult too, I think this is also due to social media and movies like we need to have this one forever friend No, the bff to beat all bffs and In reality, most relationships only last about four to seven years, like friendships, whatever.

00:20:33.637 --> 00:20:40.307
So long term is not something we really historically do as citizens of the United States.

00:20:40.748 --> 00:20:47.857
even when you're devastated, like I was devastated when I went through, the things with my friends, but it opened up a door and I met Jess.

00:20:48.347 --> 00:20:49.778
And she's like my person.

00:20:49.897 --> 00:20:50.627
Yes, I am.

00:20:51.178 --> 00:20:54.958
She felt like I was an asshole before because I was surrounding myself with assholes.

00:20:56.417 --> 00:21:00.167
And I hate to be the one that like judged, but I was like I don't like these people.

00:21:00.167 --> 00:21:04.877
So I don't know if I want to trust Randy or get to know Randy because of this.

00:21:04.887 --> 00:21:08.607
And I really was like, and I didn't talk shit about Randy because I didn't know her,

00:21:08.688 --> 00:21:09.528
but I was like, Yeah.

00:21:09.718 --> 00:21:18.877
Once you saw that I had separated from myself and I said something about it publicly and she was like, Oh, okay I'm gonna get, to know her.

00:21:18.928 --> 00:21:31.968
And so I am so thankful that happened because I feel to like, when I was in that friendship, and this can happen with everybody in relationships, too, is that you dim your light, https: You care so much about other people's feelings.

00:21:32.028 --> 00:21:36.875
Well, it's not only that, it's because you dim your light because, they're not allowing you to shine.

00:21:37.325 --> 00:21:40.775
You want to be around women, friends, family who

00:21:40.835 --> 00:21:41.765
you shine with.

00:21:41.835 --> 00:21:44.025
And they love you good and bad.

00:21:44.055 --> 00:21:45.625
They love your quirks.

00:21:45.625 --> 00:21:47.724
They love, your ADHD tendencies.

00:21:47.734 --> 00:21:50.634
They may not love them, but they love you.

00:21:50.664 --> 00:21:51.954
Appreciate.

00:21:52.160 --> 00:22:00.670
Who you are as a person, not to say that we don't like all annoy each other, at some point with our friendships, we all go like highs and lows.

00:22:00.690 --> 00:22:04.619
But at what point do you need to let go of the relationship?

00:22:04.660 --> 00:22:05.710
Exactly.

00:22:06.012 --> 00:22:09.813
I know we've said, throwing around therapy as like a threat.

00:22:09.873 --> 00:22:10.262
Yeah.

00:22:10.942 --> 00:22:17.009
These kids nowadays, they are more emotionally mature than a lot of the 40 year olds that I've seen.

00:22:17.009 --> 00:22:23.720
I don't even, it blows my mind to hear them talk about boundaries and to talk about gaslighting.

00:22:23.720 --> 00:22:27.859
Yeah, okay, we talked about that on like that one of the TikTok episodes, but they're learning.

00:22:27.859 --> 00:22:34.490
And so yes, if you don't know how to support your child, go to therapy with your child to figure out how to support your child.

00:22:34.789 --> 00:22:35.069
Exactly.

00:22:35.069 --> 00:22:36.799
It could be just for this one instance.

00:22:36.940 --> 00:22:38.079
It could be for a long term.

00:22:38.089 --> 00:22:38.539
Yeah.

00:22:38.539 --> 00:22:42.519
Or yeah, you get supported with that because maybe you're having a hard time.

00:22:42.599 --> 00:22:48.000
If you're having a hard time seeing the whole picture, maybe you're having a hard time like seeing out of the box and you don't know which way to go with your kids.

00:22:48.000 --> 00:22:54.809
So you get supported then so you can support, your child or your friend or whoever is going through this, exactly.

00:22:54.829 --> 00:22:56.950
There's no shame in seeking.

00:22:57.109 --> 00:22:58.130
Professional help.

00:22:58.140 --> 00:22:58.369
Nope.

00:22:58.400 --> 00:22:59.630
Or any type of help.

00:22:59.660 --> 00:23:01.940
And there's no shame in saying, I don't know how to handle this.

00:23:01.980 --> 00:23:03.259
I need to think about this.

00:23:03.259 --> 00:23:09.170
Let me let me process what to do with this because we don't have all the answers because we're not perfect.

00:23:09.230 --> 00:23:12.470
And when you do this, you are modeling Good behavior.

00:23:12.470 --> 00:23:14.400
You're modeling self care.

00:23:14.410 --> 00:23:17.656
You're modeling healthy mental health.

00:23:17.936 --> 00:23:24.696
And when you model this, your kids are gonna pick up on it, and then they're gonna do it too.

00:23:24.777 --> 00:23:27.967
Whether you're, you don't need to force it down their throat.

00:23:28.047 --> 00:23:30.186
You just need to model it,

00:23:30.426 --> 00:23:32.717
to do it because they're watching you all the time.

00:23:32.727 --> 00:23:36.326
Even if you think they don't know you exist, they're watching you.

00:23:36.616 --> 00:23:41.636
So let's go through and let's do our, I know we've already answered some, but let's do the have you ever questions.

00:23:41.727 --> 00:23:42.007
Okay.

00:23:43.047 --> 00:23:47.626
First, Randi, how can we help our teens recognize that mean girl behavior?

00:23:48.086 --> 00:23:57.856
So you can really empower your teens by discussing what healthy friendships look like, what they sound like, what, how interaction should be.

00:23:57.866 --> 00:24:06.777
You can even role play this, if you're having a hard time, even, like a lot of times movies and social media can have negative, but there's also positive in that too.

00:24:06.787 --> 00:24:14.567
Maybe a book or a movie or, a scene that you've seen that embodies what you think a healthy relationship is, and share that.

00:24:14.737 --> 00:24:21.317
Or even the opposite is we've been watching 80s movies and the girls are like, Heather's anybody?

00:24:21.446 --> 00:24:23.467
Oh, that's what we actually did.

00:24:23.467 --> 00:24:23.926
Murder.

00:24:24.156 --> 00:24:24.247
Yes.

00:24:25.057 --> 00:24:29.906
that weekend we actually watched Heather's and we sat there and they're like, the actual mean

00:24:29.906 --> 00:24:30.646
girls movie too.

00:24:30.977 --> 00:24:32.376
Like What?

00:24:32.622 --> 00:24:36.342
is this and why it really, it's always happening.

00:24:36.342 --> 00:24:38.142
So how do we cope with it?

00:24:38.422 --> 00:24:39.291
Exactly.

00:24:39.622 --> 00:24:43.882
Okay, okay, so what should you do if your teen is facing this?

00:24:44.073 --> 00:24:46.843
First, help them maintain their dignity.

00:24:47.292 --> 00:25:05.839
Put down the phone, step away from the computer, whatever it is right, pause, and work with them and have them own up to what they've done, if they did something, have them own up to it and understand it, and not to do like the, well, they did this, the tit for tat thing, right?

00:25:05.839 --> 00:25:06.710
Own your shit.

00:25:06.886 --> 00:25:08.317
Teach them to own their shit.

00:25:08.356 --> 00:25:09.866
We need that on a t shirt.

00:25:09.886 --> 00:25:11.126
Own your shit, man.

00:25:11.146 --> 00:25:12.616
Yeah, own it.

00:25:12.686 --> 00:25:17.047
And you can apologize for it and say, I'm sorry, I did not handle it the best way.

00:25:17.586 --> 00:25:19.396
And that is how you start to do it.

00:25:19.626 --> 00:25:21.196
Have them maintain their dignity.

00:25:21.383 --> 00:25:23.712
Just, really, truly, be the better person.

00:25:23.972 --> 00:25:32.623
Yeah, and when I went through all my stuff, too, like personally and like my daughter just said, okay, if that's the way you feel, like I'm just stepping away.

00:25:33.073 --> 00:25:34.343
And that's it.

00:25:34.353 --> 00:25:35.673
I'm not going to feed into it.

00:25:35.712 --> 00:25:41.277
I'm not going to, and same thing with me, I said, if you are feeling this way, I accept that.

00:25:41.346 --> 00:25:48.946
If you want to apologize for the way that you handled the situation or treated me, my door is open to you to talk about it.

00:25:49.252 --> 00:25:52.692
out of maybe five, like one reached out to me like a year later.

00:25:52.782 --> 00:25:54.542
that was conclusion for me.

00:25:54.573 --> 00:25:55.863
I said my piece.

00:25:56.083 --> 00:25:57.212
I said, this is how I feel.

00:25:57.232 --> 00:26:00.512
I'm removing myself from the group chat, the whatever.

00:26:00.553 --> 00:26:06.423
And like people get so offended when you remove yourself from a toxic situation.

00:26:07.153 --> 00:26:09.962
They hate it because they're losing control.

00:26:10.353 --> 00:26:11.163
Well, and that's it.

00:26:11.182 --> 00:26:12.143
It's about control.

00:26:12.173 --> 00:26:12.522
Yeah.

00:26:12.732 --> 00:26:13.053
Okay.

00:26:13.103 --> 00:26:20.363
How can we encourage our teens and our kids to open up about their feelings so they feel like.

00:26:20.627 --> 00:26:21.897
They can come to us with it.

00:26:22.407 --> 00:26:24.488
You have to create that safe place.

00:26:24.907 --> 00:26:29.367
Either it's going to be windshield time when you're driving and they're not, paying attention.

00:26:29.387 --> 00:26:33.008
It's going to be maybe in their space, literally in their room.

00:26:33.542 --> 00:26:39.383
If that's where they feel safe, it needs to be, you listening to them, not telling them.

00:26:39.633 --> 00:26:41.613
It needs to be asking the questions.

00:26:41.643 --> 00:26:42.613
Can I do this?

00:26:42.643 --> 00:26:44.182
Is it okay if I sit down?

00:26:44.563 --> 00:26:46.883
Almost like you're approaching a rabid dog sometimes.

00:26:47.613 --> 00:26:48.823
I'm walking forward.

00:26:48.823 --> 00:26:49.913
I'm coming upstairs.

00:26:50.583 --> 00:26:51.692
May I enter your room?

00:26:52.113 --> 00:26:52.282
Yes.

00:26:52.282 --> 00:26:53.192
Can we talk?

00:26:53.442 --> 00:26:53.893
What?

00:26:53.982 --> 00:26:54.952
Is this okay?

00:26:54.953 --> 00:26:55.539
Can we discuss this?

00:26:55.539 --> 00:26:57.093
Can I sit on your bed?

00:26:57.143 --> 00:27:01.442
Because they're already feeling out of control in this situation, so it gives them some autonomy about it.

00:27:01.532 --> 00:27:09.362
It lets them feel like they're in control of the situation if you defer to them and what, It's happening and let them lead the conversation.

00:27:09.531 --> 00:27:10.352
Exactly.

00:27:10.402 --> 00:27:11.872
Ask permission.

00:27:12.211 --> 00:27:16.642
That creates safety for them because they have a choice.

00:27:16.781 --> 00:27:17.011
Yes.

00:27:17.251 --> 00:27:17.692
Okay.

00:27:17.701 --> 00:27:20.682
So this one, I'm gonna let you do this one because, oh my gosh.

00:27:21.291 --> 00:27:23.912
Randy, should I intervene in the drama directly?

00:27:23.961 --> 00:27:24.352
No.

00:27:24.352 --> 00:27:25.352
No.

00:27:26.892 --> 00:27:29.061
You mean I can't just text it on their behalf?

00:27:29.592 --> 00:27:34.582
So generally you want to empower your teen to handle the situation themselves.

00:27:34.821 --> 00:27:37.902
And offer them guidance and support if they want it.

00:27:37.922 --> 00:27:40.882
ask them do you want me to talk to the other parent?

00:27:40.892 --> 00:27:43.021
Do you want me to intervene?

00:27:43.031 --> 00:27:45.721
Do you want, my experience with it?

00:27:45.731 --> 00:27:46.372
Yes or no?

00:27:46.372 --> 00:27:47.352
Okay, here you go.

00:27:47.596 --> 00:28:11.576
If there is concern, though, for their safety or well being or mental health, then definitely contact the school, contact the other parents, contact who once my daughter, she stood up for another friend and then somebody else that she didn't know came up to her in the hallway and threatened her and she was like, oh my god I don't even know, like, why this is happening, who this person is, like, why they're coming after me, and I asked her, do you want me to go to the school?

00:28:11.626 --> 00:28:14.426
And she, Emphatically said yes.

00:28:14.507 --> 00:28:15.997
And so I went to the school.

00:28:15.997 --> 00:28:17.626
I contacted the resource officer.

00:28:17.636 --> 00:28:19.846
I said, the next step was contacting the police.

00:28:19.886 --> 00:28:23.326
If nothing happened, we made a plan and we went through it, but I asked her first.

00:28:23.376 --> 00:28:30.287
And I also told her sometimes when this situation happens and somebody intervenes, it can get worse before it gets better.

00:28:30.307 --> 00:28:30.606
Yes.

00:28:31.096 --> 00:28:35.176
And I said, are you prepared for all of these scenarios to happen?

00:28:35.217 --> 00:28:36.406
And she said, a hundred percent.

00:28:36.406 --> 00:28:36.787
Yes.

00:28:36.997 --> 00:28:38.557
As long as you're on my side.

00:28:38.586 --> 00:28:39.176
You still gave her

00:28:39.176 --> 00:28:39.606
power.

00:28:39.686 --> 00:28:39.886
Yeah.

00:28:39.886 --> 00:28:40.366
Exactly.

00:28:40.366 --> 00:28:46.957
I was going to say, empower them, but if there is a safety concern, you jump your butt in right then and there.

00:28:46.967 --> 00:28:47.146
It was

00:28:47.146 --> 00:28:53.576
a physical threat and, from out of nowhere, from somebody she didn't know, so I was like, not going to take that lightly.

00:28:53.727 --> 00:28:59.866
Read the room, with how you need to intervene, And like I told Jess too, like generally, like when you text the other parent.

00:29:00.372 --> 00:29:04.192
And it's this child that's causing issues over and over again.

00:29:04.321 --> 00:29:06.102
Something's happening at home, usually.

00:29:06.102 --> 00:29:10.001
And the parent's not going to be present or self aware enough to be like, Or acknowledge.

00:29:10.061 --> 00:29:10.701
Or acknowledge, yeah.

00:29:10.701 --> 00:29:11.662
That's not my kid.

00:29:11.692 --> 00:29:13.007
My kid would never do that.

00:29:13.007 --> 00:29:13.304
Never.

00:29:13.304 --> 00:29:14.981
You're not my angel, baby.

00:29:15.692 --> 00:29:16.021
Goodness.

00:29:16.682 --> 00:29:19.882
Jess, through all this, self esteem can take a really big hit.

00:29:19.892 --> 00:29:23.531
So how do we support and uplift our teens?

00:29:24.041 --> 00:29:25.682
Self esteem through this

00:29:25.958 --> 00:29:30.857
Really remind them that their worth is not defined by others opinions.

00:29:31.347 --> 00:29:38.258
And if we as women will learn that and not judge other women, I swear to God, one day I said something to somebody about somebody.

00:29:38.298 --> 00:29:40.048
I was being a mean girl myself, right?

00:29:40.407 --> 00:29:42.288
And my daughter said, leave her alone, mom.

00:29:42.288 --> 00:29:44.038
If she wants to wear that letter where she wants to wear.

00:29:44.702 --> 00:29:45.923
I was like, God, I love you.

00:29:46.742 --> 00:29:47.103
I love you.

00:29:47.103 --> 00:29:47.502
You're right.

00:29:47.502 --> 00:29:48.373
I was being awful.

00:29:48.383 --> 00:29:49.262
I take that back.

00:29:49.542 --> 00:29:50.413
I'm not going to do that.

00:29:50.442 --> 00:29:50.772
I can't.

00:29:50.772 --> 00:29:53.153
And then I texted Randy cause I was like, I can't talk shit with my daughter.

00:29:54.163 --> 00:29:54.913
She's no fun.

00:29:55.222 --> 00:30:01.022
You have to realize too, like we all do mindless gossiping, but some people are pros at it.

00:30:01.032 --> 00:30:18.073
And I realized I had a friend who Everybody's business was her business, and I just thought she would come to me with everything, and then I fed into it, and I was becoming a mean girl because of that, and then I realized, wait, all this shit she's talking shit about me.

00:30:18.452 --> 00:30:22.012
Yes! Even though I would think no, she is my soul sister.

00:30:22.073 --> 00:30:24.282
No! Get that out of your head.

00:30:25.573 --> 00:30:28.113
They are definitely talking shit about you behind your back.

00:30:28.113 --> 00:30:30.032
I removed gossiping.

00:30:30.357 --> 00:30:32.938
Just a, level from my life like that.

00:30:32.948 --> 00:30:36.157
Not that, sometimes get frustrated and you talk to your friends, that's different.

00:30:36.167 --> 00:30:41.827
I'm just talking mindless, petty, not worth your time, not really impacting you gossip.

00:30:42.357 --> 00:30:51.932
Man, like my world flourished after taking out that little bit, because it wasn't my go to do it, but people would come to me, because

00:30:51.942 --> 00:30:52.642
you're a therapist.

00:30:52.821 --> 00:30:53.241
Yeah.

00:30:53.582 --> 00:30:54.162
And I know

00:30:54.172 --> 00:30:55.392
a lot of people in our community.

00:30:55.392 --> 00:31:02.001
So they'd be like, so and and then I was like, Oh, because, I'm a therapist, I love to know about people, but not in a negative way.

00:31:02.001 --> 00:31:03.332
I just need to cut this out.

00:31:03.332 --> 00:31:07.142
Let them do them and I'll do me and that's it.

00:31:07.201 --> 00:31:08.021
But when you are

00:31:08.231 --> 00:31:13.862
building up their self esteem and their confidence, really just focus on what you love about them.

00:31:14.152 --> 00:31:17.082
Even if they had rolled their eyes and go, yeah, mom, I know.

00:31:17.332 --> 00:31:18.122
Still do it.

00:31:18.182 --> 00:31:23.642
They still need to hear that they're amazing and that they're wonderful and that you're so proud of them and that.

00:31:23.936 --> 00:31:27.376
You are so excited to see what they do every day.

00:31:27.457 --> 00:31:28.096
Exactly.

00:31:28.146 --> 00:31:29.436
And to satisfy that

00:31:29.436 --> 00:31:29.866
time.

00:31:30.282 --> 00:31:37.093
We talked, too, about how, standing up for yourself, but like in, a kind way and a good way and an empowering way.

00:31:37.093 --> 00:31:38.573
So how do we do that?

00:31:39.163 --> 00:31:39.752
Teaching them to

00:31:39.752 --> 00:31:42.386
stand up for themselves, it's sort of communication skills.

00:31:42.737 --> 00:31:44.497
Most adults don't know how to do it.

00:31:44.537 --> 00:31:44.906
No.

00:31:44.916 --> 00:31:45.696
But do it in a kind way.

00:31:45.696 --> 00:31:47.426
And listening skills, too.

00:31:47.477 --> 00:31:47.507
Yeah.

00:31:47.507 --> 00:31:47.977
Yeah.

00:31:48.086 --> 00:31:49.396
Also, get the feedback,

00:31:51.007 --> 00:31:51.336
it's not a

00:31:51.336 --> 00:31:51.676
one way

00:31:51.676 --> 00:31:56.987
street, but emphasize kind, you can speak your mind, but are you being kind?

00:31:56.997 --> 00:31:58.146
And that is what we say in our house.

00:31:58.207 --> 00:32:01.606
You can tell her that, but are you doing it in a kind way?

00:32:01.856 --> 00:32:04.747
we want to be kind when we tell people they suck.

00:32:04.817 --> 00:32:08.936
You got to be able to say, I don't want to be your friend anymore because of this.

00:32:08.936 --> 00:32:09.237
Yeah.

00:32:09.267 --> 00:32:11.047
Or I don't appreciate this.

00:32:11.656 --> 00:32:14.537
The other thing too, though, is if something is bothering them.

00:32:14.761 --> 00:32:17.761
teach them to go to their friend versus just wiping them off.

00:32:18.001 --> 00:32:19.061
Oh, a hundred percent.

00:32:19.061 --> 00:32:20.271
I'm bothered by this.

00:32:20.541 --> 00:32:21.701
This isn't cool.

00:32:21.845 --> 00:32:22.785
That's assertive.

00:32:22.902 --> 00:32:26.882
Not being assertive is doing the, I don't want to be your friend anymore because you did this.

00:32:27.352 --> 00:32:30.192
That's how it's all miscommunication.

00:32:30.201 --> 00:32:47.186
And that's what I went through too, is I said, if you just would have said something to me this bothers me, I would have been like, okay, fine instead of just excluding me and talking about it behind your backs and coming up with a bunch of bullshit that wasn't even true, I'm like, you really don't know me then.

00:32:47.502 --> 00:32:48.343
And that's okay.

00:32:48.363 --> 00:32:48.895
And that's

00:32:48.895 --> 00:32:49.268
okay.

00:32:49.268 --> 00:32:50.012
That's okay.

00:32:50.012 --> 00:32:50.262
All right.

00:32:50.282 --> 00:32:54.502
So now what do you do if you're the teen is doing the mean girl behavior?

00:32:54.883 --> 00:33:05.593
So approach them the same way like a rabid dog, just approach them with love and concern, discuss how their actions can impact others.

00:33:05.752 --> 00:33:18.373
And how we need to be empathetic to others and set those boundaries, set those expectations with them about not only is this respecting other people, but it's respecting themselves when it comes down to it.

00:33:18.593 --> 00:33:26.472
When they check in with themselves and they make sure they're not causing harm to other people, it comes to being self aware, which is really hard.

00:33:26.472 --> 00:33:27.173
It takes a lot of

00:33:27.173 --> 00:33:27.682
work.

00:33:27.887 --> 00:33:28.478
It does.

00:33:28.498 --> 00:33:33.137
And the thing I always want to emphasize is that we don't know what these people are going through.

00:33:33.557 --> 00:33:40.228
And when you're not being kind to them, I would hate for somebody to end their life because you were being mean.

00:33:40.268 --> 00:33:40.538
Yeah.

00:33:40.538 --> 00:33:42.298
And this is not to be dramatic.

00:33:42.548 --> 00:33:42.867
No.

00:33:42.868 --> 00:33:44.627
But it happens.

00:33:44.667 --> 00:33:51.998
Like Jess and I, mentioned earlier, we have clients who, this is 30 years down the road and they're still saying this person Yeah.

00:33:51.998 --> 00:33:52.008
Yeah.

00:33:52.008 --> 00:33:52.018
Yeah.

00:33:52.268 --> 00:34:00.498
Hurt me and that person might not even be aware that they have even caused this whole life effect for this other person.

00:34:00.684 --> 00:34:03.194
Exactly, so it's doing it with kindness.

00:34:03.234 --> 00:34:04.494
And I mean it can go both ways.

00:34:04.535 --> 00:34:06.095
It can have negative and positive.

00:34:06.095 --> 00:34:07.295
So you need to always think about that.

00:34:07.295 --> 00:34:08.824
Like how am I impacting others?

00:34:08.855 --> 00:34:10.275
Like we need one more thing to think about.

00:34:10.284 --> 00:34:10.844
We do.

00:34:10.844 --> 00:34:11.795
I mean we do.

00:34:12.034 --> 00:34:17.875
So how do we help our kids move past the drama?

00:34:17.875 --> 00:34:18.005
You

00:34:18.074 --> 00:34:21.605
for this one, help them build positive relationships.

00:34:21.891 --> 00:34:25.972
Also if your teen is going through the drama, ask what they need.

00:34:26.092 --> 00:34:28.891
If they need you more, give them more.

00:34:29.152 --> 00:34:31.492
If they need you to be with them more.

00:34:31.501 --> 00:34:32.632
Drop what you're doing.

00:34:32.681 --> 00:34:41.965
That day I rearranged my entire caseload because I was like, I need to handle this because this was important and I needed to make sure that we were all okay.

00:34:42.081 --> 00:34:44.081
I did some shuffling that day, but it worked.

00:34:44.112 --> 00:34:46.452
Everything was amazing, but be with them.

00:34:46.492 --> 00:34:50.623
And make sure that they know how important they are to you, your boss.

00:34:50.793 --> 00:34:56.360
Can wait your grocery store can wait whatever it is Give them what they need in that moment.

00:34:56.590 --> 00:34:58.869
All right how are we going to help them build these healthier

00:34:58.869 --> 00:35:33.005
friendships then so all the things we talked about before communication understanding empathy role modeling, what healthy relationships look like and being present in their life and then helping them, when they are with friends, from the moment my daughter had entered in this one friendship that went sideways from the beginning, I said, she has a lot of trauma, she has a lot of things, there was a lot of red flags at first, I said, I support you being friends with her, if that feels right, What you feel like in your heart, and you want to be friends with her, but know that this could spiral.

00:35:33.155 --> 00:35:49.925
so there's things like, that's just making your kids, yeah, self aware of what could happen and telling them to be, like we talked about, be with people That are like minded, that want the same things, that, value the same things as them, and, are going to help them grow and not lead them, off the deep dark path, and

00:35:50.025 --> 00:35:54.425
the other thing I do as well is if they want to come to my house, all the kids can come to my house and hang out.

00:35:54.465 --> 00:35:55.405
I'm cool with that.

00:35:55.454 --> 00:35:57.795
I will vacate the living room and they can have it.

00:35:58.164 --> 00:36:00.954
But I'm going to leave my door open because I want to hear what they're doing.

00:36:01.385 --> 00:36:03.385
I want to hear the conversations they're having.

00:36:03.445 --> 00:36:09.684
I've always been like, let me just keep an eye out, literally to see what's happening because I don't mind.

00:36:09.695 --> 00:36:09.835
And

00:36:09.835 --> 00:36:13.094
that's how it, that's part of creating a safe space.

00:36:13.114 --> 00:36:28.188
And I know a lot of things about my daughter's friends that their parents have no clue about because I am a safe space and I'm open minded and I, but I will also call them on their bullshit too, like her friends, like you shouldn't be acting this way get right.

00:36:28.208 --> 00:36:31.907
But when you leave that door open for it to be that safe space.

00:36:32.172 --> 00:36:34.021
They're gonna have healthier relationships,

00:36:34.222 --> 00:36:34.592
period.

00:36:34.601 --> 00:36:36.311
And I don't care if they come and eat the food, fine.

00:36:36.322 --> 00:36:39.431
I've seen you do your taco, your little taco setup, right?

00:36:39.802 --> 00:36:48.402
You just make it so they feel comfortable and they're gonna act the way they want to act and then you're gonna figure out they know a lot more than you think they do because you're like, oh, okay.

00:36:48.992 --> 00:36:58.092
So lastly, If it is affecting your mental health, go to therapy, get help, yeah, get help, you or them, all of you.

00:36:58.132 --> 00:37:12.333
It is okay to get support for yourself as well when your daughter or child is going through this kind of drama because it's so hard to navigate and not everybody has a randy that they can like text it, four in the morning going WTF.

00:37:12.333 --> 00:37:12.753
Yeah.

00:37:12.753 --> 00:37:13.072
Yeah.

00:37:13.072 --> 00:37:13.393
Yeah.

00:37:13.563 --> 00:37:18.572
And we always say this, but prioritizing your mental health is a strength.

00:37:18.902 --> 00:37:20.393
It's not a weakness.

00:37:20.873 --> 00:37:28.182
Putting yourself first, communicating your needs is a strength and it's a boundary, and it's not weak and it's not wrong.

00:37:28.472 --> 00:37:29.253
Exactly.

00:37:29.273 --> 00:37:30.452
Because this mean

00:37:30.452 --> 00:37:32.592
girl drama, it is real.

00:37:32.612 --> 00:37:33.802
It is so real.

00:37:33.822 --> 00:37:37.233
And it's such a challenging part of adolescence.

00:37:37.416 --> 00:37:45.822
But, with this support, whether it's with you or your teens, it's You are going to come on the other side of this and you're going to be stronger.

00:37:46.092 --> 00:38:03.601
So we're going to wrap up today's episode and we hope you found our discussion on drama and mean girls helpful and insightful and if you have more questions, be sure to check out our other episodes and our resources on our website womansmentalhealthpodcast.

00:38:03.641 --> 00:38:06.322
com Stay tuned and take care of your mental health.