Unlocking ADHD Superpowers: Embrace Your Inner Strengths

1, 2, 3, 4. Hi friends. It's Randy and Jess, and we're gonna cut the bullshit

and let's get into women's mental health.

Welcome to the podcast unapologetically All over the place with Randy and Jess, where we talk about women's mental health issues and how it's all normal. We are two

psychotherapists that are not afraid to be vulnerable. And call out all the bs.

Find us and more information at randy and jess podcast.com. This episode is

part of our A D H D series that we're exploring throughout 2023. We're gonna explore

why A D H D can actually be a superpower. Woohoo. Yeah. As well as what you or your child can do career-wise as an A D H D. It's not a life sentence. Exactly.

Okay. So have you ever thought

my A D H D is not all that.

Can d h ADHD actually be a good

thing? I think my D H D actually helps me multi-task.

Right? Are d h ADHD people more creative?

Aren't there a lot of actors with d h adhd?

Mm-hmm you got really high pitch there. Whoa. Check you out. Okay. What kind of job can my kid with an A who has ADHD

do? Right? What can they do? Like, cuz I was saying like sometimes I'm worried cuz my kid can't put his shoes on in the morning. Right. Okay.

So we do wanna say that we, we are making light of A D H D for this episode. We don't wanna downplay that this is, you know, it is a serious thing. Right. Um, but we also wanna show that there's some other fun stuff that we can do with A D H D. Right?

In truth, this is a neurological disorder. Mm-hmm. And we do not want to downplay that. It is very serious. It is a disorder that affects your brain and we. Do talk about it lightly, a lot in media and things like that, and so, There is a seriousness to it. It does affect the way you function and you live your life and it's very hard to live with, but you can harness your superpowers with it. Yeah. And the positive things that come with it and learn to use those as tools to live your life even better. Yeah,

so we, we call'em superpowers. They're also called strengths. Mm-hmm. So we are gonna kind of focus on that this time. So, so basically, let's start off. We're not gonna get too much into the brain as to why it is. Um, but our brains operate differently than people who do not have a D H

D. Yeah, basically we're at like you would say like a 30% at least deficit of how other people are able to focus, hold attention, not be distracted, and things like that. Memory issues and things like that can come into play with that. And so, Like for just like an example, like they would say probably like my seven year old is probably at like a five year old, like level brain wise, like for his executive function. Mm-hmm. because there're are so much of a deficit. And so when you think of it that way, it starts to make more sense. About how they deal with things and regulate their emotions and how their ability to like sit and like task focus and things like that. Well, in

executive functioning, uh, what that is their mental skills that we use every day to get stuff done. Right? Right. That is putting on shoes, putting on shirts, you know, whatever it is.

It that your day to day, like every day like that you need to follow, like steps. A, B, C, D. Well, when you have a D H D. Hard to follow those steps because there's no reward with it. Right. So ADHDers, we are reward based. We're very reward based, hugely. And I struggled with this really hard with my own parenting because I thought everything I do with my kids, I feel like I'm bribing them. Because we had like reward charts, we had like reward bins and things like

that. He's. Incentives, right? It is bribery, but we call it

incentives. Right? And so, but when I started thinking it from the perspective of being ADHD and that we are reward-based, and even me, like I, when I do work, I have to be like, I have to do this, and then I will give myself this. Like, you can shop on Amazon, like if you get this a, B, and. See done if you make it through this list of things. And I was like, I do that for myself. So why am I feeling bad about doing that for my kids? Because I know a lot of people like parenting and stuff, they'll be like, don't do this. Like it's the wrong way to parent. And it's like, well, this is the right way for me to parent my child who has ADHD and myself as also having adhd. Like we need to like find a combination that works together.

Right. So, so those, that right there, that reward system creates certain types of jobs, right? Mm-hmm. and we'll, we'll go, that'll be part of our last part of this podcast, right? But like that is, there's certain jobs that we have or careers where it is very reward based. Mm-hmm.

right?

Mm-hmm. Right. So we will flourish in those type of jobs. Yes,

yes. The other thing is that our A D H D brains, we pay more attention to social positives. Approvals because of how our brain is, right? Right. That reward

system. So we're able to like manage tasks better with like leadership qualities because we can hyper-focus because we're very direct, like we kind of cut out the bullshit, you know, it's like there is like a funny like mug or something that says like, this is another meeting That could have been like a five minute email. Yes. And. Think that because I'm like, when you have h adhd, like you can't listen to a meeting like drone on and on and on and on, and you're like, we could just have cut out like so much of this extra and just got to the main points. I'm always saying like, just give me the bullet points, right? Like and that like a PowerPoint and stuff. And it was so funny, like in grad school too, like people would make like these long ass PowerPoints with like all these paragraphs and, and they were like, no, you do not even want more than five bullet points on any PowerPoint. Nobody's gonna listen to that. Nobody wants, you don't need to put all the just direct. Direct, direct

And even in like my, my job, I'm a therapist, right? And so every 50 minutes I get to get up and walk around, and then I start a new task. Mm-hmm. right? And that's kind of what it is. Even if I have eight or nine clients in a day, it's eight or nine different. Things,

right? So like changing up. So you're always problem solving something new, which is great for people that have a D H D. And if you guys are even wondering like, do I even have a D H D or like, maybe I do, or maybe I don't listen to our first episode we ever did, right? Do you think you have a D H D. Well, so do we. Jess and I were both diagnosed late in life after in our forties, so we talk about that too, like as women and being older adults and being diagnosed with A D H D.

Okay, so let's see what else. Oh, we are good in a crisis. Mm-hmm. unless your anxiety kicks in, if you have anxiety as well, but Right. We're, we're, ADHD is good in a crisis and it has something to do with the way our brain, like those, what we call theta waves. Yeah. Right.

It's because we do well with a large amount of stimuli because our brains are under stimulated. Mm-hmm. we thrive off of. Extra stimulation and we are so like always kind of on people would say, or like always listening. So like when you have all this thing kind of coming on, Jess was talking about with me earlier about how her daughter loves puzzles. Yes. And think of it like that way, like you are seeing all these different pieces or listening to all these things or seeing all these things and you can. You can bring them together to create a whole picture. And

when we talked, we were talking earlier about how like when my daughter does puzzles, she'll do a piece and go look for that and put that piece together versus following like typical, I, I don't know, I'm gonna call'em rules. Mm-hmm. Um, and so,

Social constructs. Rules. The norms. The norms.

Yeah. Right. And so she'll say, I wanna do that. And she'll put it together outside of the puzzle and then move it in. Mm-hmm. And most people won't do it that way. Right. And so that's part of what our jobs allow for as well. Right. With A D H D is something that is creative. Right.

And fast paced like you were talking about. So like, You have high energy levels. You like this, all this stimuli, like all this stuff going on. So like you said, it's great if you're like an E M T worker, like a firefighter, like a police officer, like a journalist, like on the news front and things like that. Or like us, like a therapist, like you're always listening problem solving, like mm-hmm. see, trying to look at things from a different angle

outside of. Right. That's what it is. It's outside of the

box. Yeah. So let's, I would say that is a superpower. Yes. Thinking outside of the

box. So let's look at some of the, let's just like list out the superpowers. Right? Okay. Um, we can be spontaneous. Yeah.

Right. Very resilient. Can persevere over and over again because like I said earlier, Jess and I were both diagnosed. In life, but we still without medication. Got masters. Got masters, persevered. I was like, you can't tell me I can't do this. Like, it might have taken me like five times as longer as the average person but watch, I'm gonna do it. But I still did it. Yeah. I was like, I'm still gonna do it. And high

energy levels. Mm-hmm. the ability to what? Like super, like hyper focused on

stuff. Right. You're not boring. So right?

Creative. Yes. And so those are, those are some of the things that sometimes we look at as being bad, but those can also be your

superpowers. Right, exactly. Because you can learn to harness that and put it towards something that you love doing. Yeah. Oh, and

self-awareness. That's the other one too. I think because we are taught that everything we do is wrong, we're very self-aware. Mm-hmm. of what we do. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And we're very aware of what other people do and watching them because we have to.

Like, we've had to learn how to regulate our emotions more so than the other person because we do have a lot of emotional, big emotions. Yeah, big emotions. They say it's dysregulation, um, when your emotions are kind of all over the place and you don't, my, my son has that, like, it's just like so dramatic all the time. And I was like, my husband was like, that's you. And I was like, you're right. It's like I have a hard time regulating. Emotions. I tell my kids all the time, like, sorry, your mom is dysregulated. Like Mm-hmm. or reactive or things like that. Those are big words, but it just means like I'm easily, you know, discombobulated, like thrown off my center.

But I'm gonna also say with that is that you love big Yes. And you have a big heart, right? Right. And you, you share and you love and you

care. And I've learned though to understand what that is and be able to express to like when I. When my emotions are too big, why they're too big. Like so I can communicate like why I am the way I am. If you know the person I love or the my friend or you know, my kids aren't understanding where I'm at. I do have that self-awareness to be able to communicate that and also not be as hard on myself too like I would normally be. That's a superpower. It is, yeah. That's a, that is a superpower. Cause I used to, Randy, why are you this way? You know, like, oh my God, like everybody says, you're like so sensitive. You're so emotional, you're so this. And I was like, that is not a bad thing. It's not bad. It's, it's not bad. It's, I've been told my whole life that it was bad. It's n we're telling you today, listen to me and say this out loud. It is not a bad thing to be all these things. Be

who you are and, and that is okay. Right, right. And so that is some of the A D H D superpower because, you know, we're not afraid to make cha take a chance. Yeah, right. We, um, we're not afraid to take

charge. No. Yeah. We can lead, we're direct, we cut out the bullshit. We can problem solve, we can get hands on with things like Jess and I love to like learn new things, so we're. Hey, we can do that. We can learn how to do that. I can totally do that. Right. And it's like, so we're curious and that also makes us more perceptive to things around us, so we're, we can pick up on things. Mm-hmm. and like then, you know, teach others too, like how to do

that well and being creative. And that is one of the huge pieces as that I see, is so much creativity. Mm-hmm. right? And it's not just, you can draw a person, you're creative, it could be anything. And so there's so many different careers that use creativity, right? I mean, even in coding. There's creativity and coding. Yeah,

right. Being like an athlete, like being on the move, like figuring out the plays though, like you don't realize like how much science and math and things come into that too. And I was telling Jess too, like my seven-year-old, like he can't, you know, get his shoes on in the morning, but he can sit down and do a STEM project that he has to engineer and put together and build a whole, he built a whole moving, writing, drawing board the other day with all these pizza pieces from a stem box thing that we got. And I was like, What, what just happened, and he could sit there and do that for an hour, but like I was telling her, it takes an hour in the morning for him to get dressed because there's he, he doesn't enjoy it. He doesn't want it. Yeah. Right. He just doesn't enjoy it. And so, and that's fine if you don't enjoy those things, find the things that you enjoy and like, you know, do those things in your life. And like also like taking medication and stuff, it can help, sometimes it can hinder too. You, you kinda have to find like that balance for you. But like, it's not a bad thing either because it. It lowers your risks of like, accidents. I'm very accident prone. I'm, I would always say like, I'm actually close. ADHD is because you

are, you don't, oh shoot.

I'm still driving. Okay. Hey, hey. And it lowers your risk of car accidents. Yep. Like hugely. There's actually less addiction. Whe when you take a d h ADHD medicine too. Mm-hmm. because you're not looking for. Outside like stimulus, like drugs or alcohol to like kind of like give you like that, that lack of balance of stimulation that you have that dopamine and it helps you from not falling behind and like work in school and stuff like that. Well,

and I have a lot of people that will say that when they wanna be creative, they don't take their meds. Mm-hmm. and the days they have to sit in meetings all day. they take meds. Right. And so, you know, when we, you're talking about medications, you don't always have to take'em, you know, and some kids won't take'em during summer. Mm-hmm. or on weekends. And some will, it just depends upon, you know, the kid and, and the parents and what's going on. Yeah. Um, I see a lot of like E M T and ER nurses and like police. They a lot of d h, adhd, right? Because it's quick, it's not boring, fast, fast

paced. It's always something new. It's always a problem. A crisis that is happening that needs

something that solve, yes, something needs to be solved. Um, right. What else do we have? Uh, like a journalist?

Yep. We were talking about that being on the news front lines, like being in it, like finding a story or digging in for a story or like, you know, finding a source or something for that.

That's creative. That is problem solving. Again. Yeah. A teacher

like you would think, like, wait, a teacher, like there's so many things, but you, you're teaching so many different subjects, so many different types of kids. Kids you know too, with like learning issues. Regular kids like a D H D, kids like you. So you have to constantly be on your toes. With

that. Yeah. I don't know if I could ever be a teacher. I don't have patience. No, there's no way. There's no, I

actually always, I actually saw this really cool TikTok the other day, and it was a guy who has schizophrenia and he was sharing about all the things that he can do with schizophrenia. And he's a kindergarten teacher. And as, I mean, he's medicated, you know? And he's learned how to play to his strengths. And he's an amazing kindergarten teacher. Mm-hmm. And he was like, so you found his superpowers? Same, same thing. So it's like, Anything, any diagnosis you have, you can play to your strengths. You can find your superpowers and you can harness these tools and use them to improve your life. And you don't have to see it, like I said, like as a negative life

sentence, right? It's a superpower. No. Figure out what yours is. There's lots of careers out there. Um, and don't

let it hinder you. Yeah. And change your career too. If you're finding your passion in something else where it doesn't work for you and you're like, man, I'm stuck in this. Look at something else. Maybe that will play to your strength like this, that you can think out of the box that you might have some more movement or you might, you know, not do. Something that's like boring you out of your skull. So

Yeah, I could, I couldn't do that. I,

no, no. And start thinking about that for your kids too, and maybe like, play to their strengths too. Like what do they love? What, what do they thrive on? Like, what, you know. Okay. They can't, they're not gonna have a nine to five desk job, you know that they're gonna be able to sit in front, you know, of this. Maybe they do like, they like coding. Like my seven year old is asking me for coding classes, you know, because he wants it, wants to solve the problems and stuff Do, do, and I'm like, yes, I wish I knew how to code. It's a whole other language, you

know?

I know my daughter's talking about doing something with forensic, right? Mm-hmm. because it's that puzzle again.

Yes. And so my daughter loves forensics. Science. Yes. Like all that stuff too.

So we sit there when we cook dinner and we'll talk to Alexa and have her talk about what kind of jobs there are. Mm-hmm. that do forensic. Yeah. Right. And so we'll have like, we'll ask what kind is this? What kind is that? What does this do? And so she'll sit there and tell us and she's still kind of figuring it out. Yeah. You know she's young. Yeah. But I think it's really cool that they're thinking about this.

Yeah. It's so awesome. It is. So you guys harness your superpowers, whatever they are. Yep. And listen in to us next week and we'll talk to you then. Talk to you later. Thanks for listening and normalizing mental health with us.

Don't forget to check out our free resources and favorites on our website, unapologetically randy and jess.com

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